O Baby Baby.

International Women's Day

Will The World Ever Stop Judging Women On How They Chose To Be A Mother?

The Market Place of ideas

Oct,8,2022

When Priyanka Chopra announced her baby news the world seemed triggered and a surprisingly strange  debate grew on social media.

She and her husband Nick Jonas announced they were going to become parents  through surrogacy, rather than the traditional way which angered a large amount of people who I assumed paid good money to see a child exit from her uterus.

Unsurprisingly Chopra found herself on the receiving end of a slew of nasty comments online

Now what’s may have gotten these trolls a riled up?

Well for starters Chopra’s unconventional route to motherhood has caused a glaring spotlight to be shown on how society expects and deems the way a child should be brought into the world.

The 39-year-old was facing a lot of accusations some that ranged from accusing her of using another woman's body  to save her own from the ravages of pregnancy.Or to straight up question if she can call herself a real mom.

Chopra, who has fans all over the world, has triggered an interesting conversation among many of her followers.

Some of the comments went a little something like this.

“Is this how she wants to keep her figure intact,” said one comment. Another person said. "Women will not make good mothers if they don’t have their babies naturally.”Or “Rich people pay poor people to have kids for them so their bodies don’t get wrecked,” one Twitter user wrote, remarked in anger on Chopra and Nick’s surrogacy child. “Surrogacy for vanity purposes. It’s exploitative & unethical,” tweeted another.

For decades people have shamed mothers in all areas of motherhood no matter what they chose to do.

I had a close family friend confide in me that her Doctor came out and said"if you can't breast feed your child they will be at a significant learning disadvantage"

This advice came despite the fact that my friend was trying so hard to express milk that her nipples were bleeding.

Or that If you opt for  c-section you aren't tough enough to handle the rigours of a real natural childbirth.

Last I checked having anything pushed or surgical removed out of your body the size of a 8-10lb loaf of bread should get the seal of approval for toughness from anyone.

But let's keep it real like the kids say.

Babies are tough, little balls of crying gas filled cuties.They can, when needed 

reach super sonic levels of screaming and release unbridled amounts of projectile vomit.

I once witnessed one of my own children fill up a diaper to levels that were mythical.

The smells produced by this little angel could either wake the dead or send you to meet them.

So with that in mind so what if you want to get the ready made version of a family?

Do a little bit of the old school step parent or the strange but newly minted step up parent job.

If this somehow helps move things along and helps you get there faster why not?

Sometimes it's okay to take the path of least resistance.

One writer on twitter wrote" It’s as if the joys of motherhood is justified only through constant mental and physical pain one endures"

Chopra is not the first mega-celebrity to face public outrage for  joining the mommy club through surrogacy. 

Kim Kardashian welcomed her third child Chicago via surrogate in 2018.

Much of the hubbub and critical arguments against this form of motherhood were along the same lines.

"Self absorbed".

"Egotistical".

"Not wanting to wreck the downstairs".

However the truth was that after Kim Kardashian  suffered from placenta accreta during her first two pregnancies, the couple opted to hire a gestational carrier to expand her family.

So why must only a natural birth define motherhood? Heck why refer to vaginal birth as natural?

What my wife and I learned in Lamas class or baby boot camp(I had to butch it up a bit)was that by hook or crook that kid is coming out.

Now unless we start having baby farming pods ala the Matrix or start hatching clones it's a natural birth.

But I think the real hate started. When Pyrany posted that she was feeling tired and overwhelmed by the new bundle of joy.

The rolled eyes and mumbles under the breath began.

She didn't go through 9 months of hell and a crazy amount of labour so what does she have to complain about?

And to be fair some of the complaints are not entirely without merit.

If you trained and suffered and busted your ass for a 100km ultra marathon going through all the suffering and pain to get to the finish line.

You would have every right to feel some 

kind of way when your competition gets a lift to the same finish line in a 

 Jeep and receives the same medal.

The laundry list of battle scars that women endure is only comparable to the tasks of Hercules when it comes to giving birth.

So as undeserving as the hate and online vitriol was.

The fact that this very wealthy, successful attractive, former beauty pageant contest 

got a ready made baby pissed some peoe off.

She has no hemorrhoids, no leaking breast,and no postpartum.

She is saved from having to wear a diaper to hold  everything down there from tearing due to all the stitches

I once had a female friend tell me she and her sister both suffered from what she referred to as a  "Vagina ass".

Tearing so severe and I quote "you grow a new butthole"

But I feel the truth is that you're not in competition with other moms, and regardless of how a person becomes a mother it does not take away from your joy or happiness.

Just think of all the emotional guilt society piles on to women when we talk about child birth.

Adding more on top of that is not only unnecessary but cruel.

It’s somewhat ironic, but the more  women judge other women, the less confident everyone feels. So It’s high time for ladies to start uplifting new moms regardless on how they got there because wether you are a mom, step mom or a step up mom,

I think we can all agree there's plenty of projectile vomit to go around.